The Passing of an Anthem

I learned last Wednesday night that my Uncle Clarge has passed away. He had been fighting Emphysema for several years now. The text message was a painful surprise. Although it shouldn't have been a surprise since he had been in and out of the ICU for months. But still, you learn, always, that when death comes in the family, no matter how much you prepare yourself, when it actually comes, you'll never be really totally prepared for it. Always, its dark, lonely and painful hands will touch you and grip you and stay with you...

For me, the loneliness came at about 3am the next day, when everybody else was asleep. It was during this time that the memories came, all the more painful because they were memories from joyous times. My family grew up with his family. We spent all the important occasions (holidays, birthdays, vacations) with his family.

He was a jolly good soul, always lively, and very very frank. He can be harsh sometimes in all his frankness, but sometimes, this is really how you build strong character in people. He was always in the "know." He knows everything that goes on--in the news, in other parts of the world, and other things that you wouldn't really know about no matter how much you watch television. I often wondered where he gets all his information. Well, maybe from all the books that he reads. I remembered that talking with him was always an intellectually stimulating experience. He'll never back down during any debate and his arguments would always have strong backing. I just know that if he had not been encumbered by his sickness, he would have gone on to greater achievements.

But he's free now. Free from all the gadgets and the medicines that he had to take when he was alive. Free from his confining sickness. I can actually imagine him running freely now, with a wide smile on his face. I can see him in my mind, swimming and playing Ping Pong, sports that he was really good at years ago.

We will mourn you Uncle Clarge. Everytime we visit your place at 156, we will always search, grope even, for the light and life that was uniquely you. We will press our ears to the wall and deeply wish for the slightest trace of your voice. Everytime we sit in your sala and watch from your favorite TV, we will hear your voice in our heads, telling us something worth learning about. It will surely be lonely without your jokes Uncle, and occasions will never be the same without the comments that only you can make. But deep, deep, deep down Uncle, we are also happy for you. You can laugh all you want now without the worry of triggering an attack. You can journey the great outdoors now without fearing viruses. Everytime we are lonely, we will picture you in our mind, running carefree in your fave rubber shoes.

Move on in peace Uncle, because the people you've left behind will also do the same, for your sake.

P.S.

Am I writing to someone? Anyway, I feel like I'm writing to someone...

Well, I just forgot to write that Eya also knows how to say "thank you", " sorry", and "please" now. It just feels so nice whenever you hear your kid say such things hehehe. And she can count from 1 to 10 now. Oh well, sometimes she forgets 1 and starts at 2 and then she forgets 4 and jumps at 5, hehehe. Sometimes she starts at 5 all the way to 10 --- it's just so funny listening to her count this way!

Hmmm, she's nearing her 2nd birthday and we'd like to give her a simple party. I hope she'll be super happy on her "d" day.

At looong last...

It's been a while!!! It's been months since I last wrote anything in here, whew! Well...excuses, excuses. First, I've been lazy. I just did not have that zest, that enthusiasm to write anything. Then, I was busy with Eya, I was always busy with Eya. Then, we sent home our 'pasaway' yaya, so it was just me taking care of Eya. Then, I got sick. That's about it for excuses. Well, now then that's covered.

I'm really so happy with Eya right now. She can now talk, imagine!!! She can now tell you what she wants, which she does, of course, and allll the time! She can now hum a decent tune and she's getting good at dancing everyday. She's very interested in books and with educational shows. I hope we can find that perfect playschool for her by November.

She's nearly two years old now and she can really do a lot of things. She can eat by herself now without spilling anything and she now knows phrases like, "tulog ko, eat, water, poopoo, weewee, gusto mo, buksan ko." And so she can now make "utos." hehehe! But when she gets so excited she still blabbers on and on. But I don't mind. I'm just so happy with the progress that she's making. And I'm so proud because she's showing some IQ and EQ. She knows how to share her toys with others and she knows how to be told to not do something.

There was also a time when I was truly touched by my daughter. We were alone in the house then, just the two of us. I suddenly became depressed. I cried a little, and I thought she would not notice. But when she saw the tears in my eyes, she got her "pranella" and started wiping at my eyes. I was so surprised! I was not expecting this from a baby less than two years old. That was when I realized that my baby's growing up and that I have no reason to be sad. I was just so touched and so proud that my baby is growing up to be a sensitive girl attuned to older people's feelings. She also cries when she sees people crying on TV. The experience was just so humbling.