The Wind Spirit

Goodbye Uncle Loy

2007-08-07T18:28:00.000-07:00

It's been months since I last wrote here and a lot has happened since then.

Uncle Loy, Mama's bother and eldest sibling, died last June 16. One moment he was talking and joking with us in the hospital, and after less than two weeks, he was gone, just like that.

We didn't get to see Uncle Loy often, even when we were kids. He was a Commodore of the Armed Forces of the Philippines, and as befitting his position, he was always away on assignment. But I remembered that when we did get to see him during visits, he was the warm sort of uncle - always with the tight and cracking hug, the booming voice and the wide smile. He was nice to talk to, always had stories about his experiences, always ready to debate. He was always enthusiastic, full of ideas. He was appreciative of his relatives as well. He would always show interest in us, ask how we were doing, offer advice and praise any achievement, no matter how small.

This was what I regretted most when he passed away, the stories that he would never be able to tell now. I knew that he still had a lot of stories to share with us, stories worth hearing and passing on.

But then, beyond that one regret, I'm also thankful that now he's beyond physical pain, and at peace.

Shrek

2007-05-25T10:29:00.000-07:00

I'm glad we watched Shrek with Eya. It was a fun movie, makulit! I liked the songs, makulit din! It was a riot! Eya's eyes were just glued on the screen.

But the best part of it was eating popcorn with Eya!

Random Thoughts

2007-05-25T09:51:00.000-07:00

It's been weeks since I last wrote here. And there had been many things to be thankful for since then.

First off, Eya can now utter simple sentences. Hurray, at two and a half years old. She can now say, "Where is Eeyore?" or "What's this?" or "What's that" or "The cat is eating." or "Let's go inside Jollibee." and so on....

Next on the list would be to teach her the basics of reading and writing. I just realized that school-related pressures come early to parents these days. Like a child must be able to learn the basics of reading and writing as early as 4 years old now. Whew! So that means I must start teaching her as early as NOW! Whew again!

Eya's more "mature" now in the way she moves and talks. She's still a hyper kid but she can move more independently now. She DEMANDS independence now. She does not want to be assisted at all times. She can hold things without dropping them or she can carry drinks without spilling them. Her grasp of crayons, pens and toothbrush is firmer now. She now asserts doing things for herself on her own, like powdering, eating hamburger, cake, chicken, peanuts, chips and salad, soaping herself, washing hands, combing her hair, putting on shorts and panties and shoes and socks, carrying her things, and so on. And she wants to do things for us too. She's happy when I let her comb my hair or help in washing clothes or when I ask her to pass me something. She brings things to her Dad as well. Yes, this is definitely the stage when kids want to be useful.

I just realized also that it's true what they say, that kids are their parents' angels. They are these constant reminders that parents, no matter what, must always strive to be good, for their children's sake and wellbeing.

There was this instance when I got impatient with Eya, with what she was doing at that time, and my voice rose a notch. Eya was quick to say, "Mommy and Eya...friends," and then she held my hand. I was taken aback and in a moment my impatience was gone. I felt checked, and rightly so. I was just amazed at how a two-year-old can express her feelings with such simplicity, and yet such depth. It made me realize that I had no business raising my voice to her, that I should always try to check my temper since my daughter is expecting me to be not only her mother, but her friend as well. Someone who will understand her and explain things to her like a real friend, like a buddy, and not just discipline her or order her around. It made me realize that two-year-olds are their person in their own right. Even when they will not remember all these when they grow up, it really matters how well you treat them at this stage because this is the time when they start to be their own person. This is the time when they show you a glimpse of what they will be like when they grow up. So whenever I get angry or irritated, I just think about this and it helps. I know that when my daughter says "Sorry, Mommy. It's okay mommy, 'di na galit mommy," along with touching gestures, it's the time for me to humble myself and act as a friend and explain things softly and say sorry also for any shortcoming as a mother.

End of Eya's Summer Class

2007-04-28T05:55:00.000-07:00

Eya's last week went smoothly - no more tears!!!

Monday

*She now trusts her teachers more. Whenever I take her to class, she'd hold her teacher's hand and go inside, no more fuss.
*She's more behaved, more keen at following instructions. After play time, when the teacher rang the bell for them to go back inside, she did not make a fuss. She just went back with the group, quietly. She did not even force me to go back with her, as she would have done during the first week.

Tuesday

*At the end of the class, she went out the room proudly holding her "rainbow band" and "ocean in a bottle," the results of their art activities.
*She told me enthusiastically and with action that they danced in class - a sign that she's becoming more expressive.
*She also played "bulagaan" with one of her older classmates, a sign that she's getting more comfortable with other kids.

Wednesday

*Tie dye shirt day, an activity which everyone enjoyed, as the teacher told us.
*Eya was a little quiet at dismissal, but Teacher Owen told us that she was well-behaved, a good girl all through the class.

Thursday

*Wet Day! It was nice to see Eya in her red two-piece. She enjoyed splashing around in the water, but she was the first to get tired of it - maybe because they were too many inside the inflatable pool or it was getting cold. When she got out of the room, she was dressed in her dyed shirt and ready to go home. The shirt was nice.

Eya was not able to attend the Laua Party on Friday, she was just too tired she was not able to get up on time. The summer session's last day was the first day that Eya missed. She was never absent except for this, but she was late a few times. Some of the parents, myself included, were sort of disappointed because there was no certificate or a sort of token or souvenir from the playschool that our children attended their summer class.

Eya's 2nd week at Summer School

2007-04-22T09:24:00.000-07:00

Snapshots at Eya's 2nd Week:

*Lesser crying time. She no longer cried by the third day. When I left her with the teacher on Wednesday, she still did not look too happy but at least she did not wail. The same with Thursday. But by Friday, she was the one in a hurry to enter the classroom. She was pulling her daddy by the hand and when they reached the room she went directly to her side of the table to participate in the activities. She did not even notice when her daddy left.

*She was able to nap during this week. The teachers finally discovered the trick. They had to put a cloth over her eyes for her to be able to sleep.

*She is now more expressive. She can tell her teachers when she wants water and when she'd like her cup to be opened. But I think she's still shy to tell them when she'd like to pee.

*The teachers said that she's more participative now. She helped put peanut spread on bread during their cooking activity, and she ate the toast as well. She's also showing more interest in other activities, like reading and science experiments, but action songs remain her favorite.

*She's more sociable now. She remembers some of her classmates' names and waves good-bye at them before leaving the school. She waves good-bye at some of her teachers too.

*At the end of school time, she tells us excitedly about what she did. She expresses this through some words, but mostly she acts them out. We take this as a sign that she's enjoying herself.

*When we're at home, she sometimes would blurt out, "punta si Eya sa school" ("Eya's going to school.") We take this as a sign that she's excited to be going to school.

*At the end of Friday, she was proud and excited to show us her artworks for the week which includes sunflower handprint and butterfly footprint, among others. They were great!!!

We are just so happy to see that Eya's enjoying herself at playschool. I hope she continues to have more fun and progress during her third week, which was the last week for the summer session.

End of Eya's First Week at Summer School

2007-04-22T09:01:00.000-07:00

I was not able to sit in at all. I was able to go as far as the classroom door, and then the head teacher practically shooed us mothers out the door :).

And so I had no choice but to sit outside and wait for updates from the teachers who'd talk with the parents and guardians from time to time.

The head teacher said that Eya stopped crying after a few minutes. She did not mingle much with the other kids though. She just sat silently in a corner with her pillow on the lap during most of nap time, together with Angelica. Maybe she was still feeling a bit down for being so drastically abandoned.

Come dismissal time, Eya came out of the room proudly holding out her artworks for the week. I know that she was looking and waiting closely for my reaction. It was nice to see her like this. And of course I praised her profusely and sincerely.

I chatted with some of the teachers regarding her progress. They said:

*Eya did not mingle much with the other kids but she no longer has to be told to go into the circle or within the group when there's an activity (e.g. like reading or science experiment)
*she liked action songs the most, and interested in activities that involved colors
*she's still more on observing than participating

Hmmm, I hope that her second week will be more enjoyable and fruitful for her.

Eya's 3rd Day at Summer School

2007-04-12T03:43:00.000-07:00

I did not sit in for the most part of the session so I had to rely on the teachers regarding feedback.

FILTER IN

I went with Eya inside the classroom at the start of the class. Then when it seemed that she's getting interested in what's happening, I slowly went out, but stayed outside to peek.

After a few minutes, she looked for me. Then she cried softly with her hands over her face. But then she saw Teacher Ayla holding out some colored cartolina cut-outs and her interest was instantly caught.

MAKING DOOR HANGER

Eya forgot to look for me all throughout the activity. She was so absorbed with what they're doing, designing a door hanger. Her hands were so busy gluing sequences and "shimmers" on the cut-out, with the assistance of teacher Ayla.

After washing her hands, she roamed around the room a little and 'inspected' what everybody else was doing.

Everything went well, until snack time.

SNACK TIME

I was telling teacher Ana about Eya's things for snacks and nap time, when Eya caught a glimpse of me outside the door. Oh dear, everything would have gone smoothly if not for that. When she saw me, she started crying and wailing so loudly that I almost went back inside. But the teachers took charge so I let them handle the situation. I went into the play area, but i can still hear Eya crying. It was hard for me to listen to her crying like that but I think it would also be good for her to be set at ease with that group so that her socialization skills would improve.

Anyway, as teacher Joy told me later, she was able to drink most of her milk. She'd stop crying, then after a few minutes, start again.

STORYTELLING TIME

They read a book about elephants. Teacher Owen said that Eya stayed within the circle the whole time, which is an improvement. But there were times though when she was not paying attention. But that's okay. At least she sat within the circle the whole time, a sign that her patience with this activity is improving. During dismissal time, when I asked her about her time at school, she answered, "dami elephants!" (Plenty of elephants!) This is a sign that the activity stuck in her mind somehow.

NAP TIME

She was no longer crying came nap time. But as with the previous days, she was not able to nap. Teacher Joy said that she took her pillow and sat in a corner with Angelica, not making any noise. This is in contrast with her other hyper "nap" times, where she'd be moving around and doing all sorts of things. Maybe she behaved that way because I was not there. Maybe she was still feeling a bit abandoned and down. In any case, she was not her usual hyper self.

SCIENCE EXPERIMENT (Mixing Colors & Hot and Cold Water)

The activity caught her attention. Teacher Owen said that although she did not actively participate (maybe since this was the first time she experienced such activity), she sat at the front of the circle the whole time, observing. This is again a sign that her attentiveness is improving; her attention span getting longer. When I again asked her what they did, she said, "colors, colors!" I think she was referring to this activity. It was a good sign that she remembered this activity as well.

DISMISSAL TIME

Due to lack of time, they were not able to play outside. I was eager to see Eya after her being cooped up in the classroom for hours. And by the looks of her, with her face looking like it was about to smile and cry at the same time, she was also eager to see me. After the tight hug, she showed me her sequences and "shimmers" with delight, while saying, "'di na cry Eya, very good." (Eya's no longer crying, very good.)

I hope that she'll not cry tomorrow, at least not that hard again. I might not be able to take it two days in a row and might end up sitting in once more just to stop her tears.

Eya's 2nd Day at Summer School

2007-04-11T07:31:00.000-07:00

Eya's second day at summer playschool was definitely better. I saw several improvements.

START OF CLASS

Eya properly fell in line with the other kids and followed Teacher Owen. I thought she would no longer look for me. Once inside the classroom though, she started crying and calling for me. Oh dear, so I sat in again.

MAKING MONKEY MASK

Eya was able to sit longer at the table with the kids this time. The time that she gets up was lessened. She did not want to touch the glue though, so I had to glue the mask for her. Once glued, she was game at 'designing' the mask, meaning writing on it, and I had to stop her because it would no longer look like a monkey with too much strokes on it.

SNACK TIME

As with the previous activity, Eya was able to sit longer at the table during snack time. She was also able to eat and drink more. She did not finish her snacks, again, because as with the previous day, she again got distracted with toys and crayons. So she went off with the 'toddlers gang' to explore.

STORYTELLING TIME

Eya paid more attention to the story told today. It was about animals and it was more colorful than the book read yesterday. Whenever the teacher would as, "Where's the giraffe?" or "Where's the panda?" Eya would go near to 'investigate.' She was attracted by the colorful and big pictures. I hope they continue to tell such stories to encourage the toddlers to pay more attention.

NAP TIME

Nap time was a riot for the 'toddlers gang' again. Eya did not even go near the rubber mats this time. She spent the whole of nap time doing the following: jumping, walking around the room, chatting with Angelica in their own toddlers' 'slang,' doodling with colored pentel pens on paper, browsing through books, shrieking with laugher, whirling around and round, laughing and bonding with the teachers, eating biscuits and drinking milk, trying to sneak out to the playground, trying to open the door, 'picking' at the doorknob, attempting to do somersaults, lying face-down on the floor when nobody's looking (or so she thought hehehe), looking for daddy and saying, "hug daddy," and drinking water. What a nap time! Even Angelica was impatient for the others to wake up. She thought the others had slept for too long.

When the lights came on, the toddlers shrieked with delight. Eya was repeatedly saying, "dance tayo!" (Let's dance!)

PASS THE BALL

I thought Eya would be disappointed because they did not do the action songs that they did yesterday. She was so looking forward to dancing, and she knew that this was supposed to happen after napping.

But she so enjoyed the Pass-the-Ball activity! She stayed within the circle the whole activity, and I was pleasantly surprised. I thought she'd ran off again to do other things. There were times though that she'd rather hug the ball than pass it to the next one. But she did not complain when it was taken from her by the one sitting next to her. She could not understand yet that when the music stops and she has the ball, she has to do the consequence like jumping or shaking her body several times, so a teacher had to assist her. But all in all, she was able to adjust well to the activity. She even clapped when it was finished, like what she did after they did the action songs yesterday.

PLAY TIME!

It was time to line up for playground time, and Eya was all fidgety in her excitement. She jumped and shrieked with joy the moment they went out the door. As with yesterday, she enjoyed herself very much. She was all dusty, but very happy. After playing with her favorites, the slide and swing, several times, she discovered the mini tunnel under the slide and she enjoyed crawling on fours and getting dirty inside it. One of the teachers said that she was the first in the group to discover that mini tunnel. And I guess she'd be the only one to fit in there as well. The area was pretty much 'hers.'

TIME TO GO

And then it was time to go home. After washing and changing clothes, Eya was impatient to see her dad. She was repeatedly asking me where her daddy was and I had to explain several times that he was on his way to fetch us.

Well, second day went well. And I hope the next days are even better.

Eya's First Day at Summer School

2007-04-10T07:51:00.000-07:00

Whew, I survived Eya's first day at summer playschool!!!

I was the one who was so excited and anxious at the same time. Mothers do have a lot of concerns when their kids start going to school.

These questions were running in my mind all through yesterday, and even as the class started.

*Was it too early to introduce Eya to the classroom, at 2 and a half years old?
*Is four hours of play school activities a day too long somehow?
*Will the other kids bully her? Since Eya's on the petite side, some big kids always try to bully her so I never take my eyes off her when she's playing with older kids, and I'm always within hugging distance.

START OF CLASS

All in all, Eya's first day at school went well. It did not start off with a blast, so to speak, since at the very start of the session, a little boy (I wasn't able to ask about his age) threw this great tantrum because his mom left him. He was yelling and crying so loudly, and kicking the door so forcibly that some of the other kids became frightened and started crying and looking for their mommies as well.

Eya just observed this, but I think she found 'the show' somewhat strange since she was not really used to all those loud noises. But I'm glad she did not follow suit and cry.

Since it was her first day, she was more the observant student rather than the participatory one. She was at first hesitant to let the teachers hold her hands for a butterfly hand print, so I had to encourage her. She was able to make a nice hand print. And after that, I did not have a hard time assisting her in washing her hands over the toilet sink.

SNACK TIME

Then they had their snacks. She did not want to sit at the table with the other kids. So I had to sit with her at the table for a few minutes. But I was happy to see her slowly warming up to the other kids. She even tried initiating a conversation with some of them. But since for the most part she's still slurring her words, she only clicked with one or two.

DRAWING TIME

During drawing and crayon time, she showed that she had a good grasp of a pencil and crayon. And even when she was the youngest in class, she showed that she's coping well at this point in the session.

STORY-TELLING TIME

This activity was the least that caught her attention. First-off, the story was too long, naming butterflies from a-z. She looked at the teacher reading the book only just once or twice. Even the alphabets did not interest her, which usually do. The book could have been more colorful to catch toddlers' attention. Only the older kids were able to appreciate the story. Eya was doodling with crayons on paper for most part of the story-telling, then she ran off to the other end of the room to play and browse books with other toddlers who had also lost interest in the story.

NAP TIME

Eya was up during the whole nap time. The teachers and I were not able to coax her into lying down on the rubber mats. She'd rather jump than lie down! And while the other kids were trying to nap, she was roaming around the room. The Teachers allowed her. Only about two or three kids were able to nap well since there were so many distractions. Several of the toddlers were not ready to put some board toys aside. A little boy tried to hit a little girl several times, and then he started to wail for his mom when the teachers restrained him. Then he continued to cry loudly nearly all through nap time. So no wonder the kids can't sleep. Then some of the other kids started cyring too. What a riot!!!

TIME FOR ACTION SONGS

This was Eya's most favorite part in the whole afternoon session, and mine too. With lively songs and easy to copy actions, Eya was shrieking with laughter in no time. She was jumping and running around all throughout. She was not able to follow all the actions and instructions from the teachers, what with all the movement and noise the kids were collectively making, but so what? I was just so happy to see Eya enjoying herself so much while being surrounded with other children.

PLAYGROUND TIME

Now, time for some active play outdoors. As usual, Eya enjoyed the slide. But she made a new acquaintance, the swing. She enjoyed this one a lot. She even makes wooshing sounds whenever she's riding it. I had to stay close though since the bigger kids might squeeze her in their excitement--a near rumble erupted among three of the little guys.

LOOKING FORWARD TO TOMORROW

And then it was time to say good-bye. After play time, the kids trooped back inside to wash and then to sing another action song, which of course they still jumped to even when they had exerted so much energy already. And then the good-bye song. It was a good day, and I hope tomorrow's even better.

A Note to Myself

2007-02-20T05:06:00.000-08:00

I'm just writing this to remind myself of Eya's progress at 2 years and about 5 months.

*Eya's getting sharp with colors. She can now identify almost any color.

*She can now ask questions like, "What you doing, what's that, what's this?"

*She can now count in Spanish from 1-10 and sometimes upto 15 and 20, and she remembers some of the Spanish words and phrases from Dora, like 'alen' and 'impuhen' (pull and push, I think, hehehe)

*She makes up her own lyrics to familiar tunes like The Alphabet Song and "twinkle, twinkle"

*She plays with and talks to her own shadow.

*She comforts her toys when she thinks they're sad or crying. Like she'd tell Eeyore, "don't cry," while rubbing and patting his back alternately.

*She can now tell you what she's feeling, like when she's in pain or afraid of something. She can also identify emotions in others like when others are sad, or happy and laughing.

*She can now describe what she sees, like what people are wearing and doing around her, like when other kids are playing or talking or laughing. Actually, she's quite eager to describe, and sometimes, in her excitement, the words get jumbled.

*She can assert and instruct in a positive manner, like she'd tell you what she would like to eat and drink, or what she would like for you to do for her. And she now knows how to use 'please,' although she still needs to be reminded from time to time.

*She's improving with her toothbrushing skills. Her 'aim' at her teeth is getting sharper. (hehehe)

*She can do a lot of things with her hands now. Her strokes are getting bigger, firmer and more expressive.

*Her imagination and improvisation skills are improving as well. She'd draw something curvy and then say that it's a blue whale or a fish.

*She can now assemble and disassemble things, and can put things and toys back in their proper places.

*She can expertly put on her shoes and boots, and she's attempting to do the same with clothes although she still needs help with her panties, shirts and shorts from time to time. Her skirts she can put on with no problem.

*Her memory is getting sharper. She can remember which things belong to whom and she can recall events that happened recently.

*Her impersonation skills are excellent. She can copy an act or imitate a sound in no time at all. And for this we all have to be very careful in front of her. Yup, this is definitely that stage.

For all of these, I'm thankful and proud. I look forward with excitement to other developments very soon.

Dreamz

2007-02-19T16:41:00.000-08:00

I dreamt of Uncle Clarge the other night. In the dream, he was smiling brightly. He was wearing the trademark faded shorts and white shirt, but he looked like he gained some weight. His face was rounder and his legs sturdier. He was in this simple bare room (he was fixing something inside a cabinet), but with a very bright light coming in through the window. I had this nice and comforting feeling when I woke up, and his smile (oh what a smile!) stayed with me.

Maybe it was his way of letting me know, of reassuring me, that he's happy wherever he is. Although they are rare instances, this was not the first time that a departed loved one visited me in my dreams (and I'm just glad that they do so in dreams and not 'in person' hahaha; maybe they know that I'd be scared and not get to enjoy the moment as much hehehe). My Lola Conching, my father's mother, also visited me in my dream years ago. But it as a shorter and hazier visit.This one about my uncle was a very clear and bright dream.

It was a very welcome dream. We lost Uncle Noring, Auntie Betsy's husband, January last year. Then Uncle Clarge died September last year. And just this February 8, we lost Auntie Marian's husband, Uncle Fred. When you lose three (3) members of the family in a span of less than fourteen (14) months, you somehow need some reassurance that they are now in a better and happier place. And I think that Uncle Clarge just sent a message that he is.

Special Day

2007-02-15T17:38:00.000-08:00

Today is our first wedding anniversary. What a year! We’ve been through a lot and I’m just very thankful that my husband Biboy is my partner in everything and every way. Well, we have the usual misunderstandings between couples from time to time, but I’m glad that we’ve learned (and still learning) not to dwell on them for long periods.

Hey husband, if you get to read this, you should know this blog entry is for you. After all, you’re one of the very few who has access to this (hahaha).

I just want to let you know that even when I don’t always show it, I’m really very grateful for and deeply touched by all the sacrifices that you’re making for us – your family. I really think that you’re the most hardworking and selfless dad in the world, and I believe this everyday. But I worry about your health though when you go on working for days with just a little rest.

I am thankful for the little things as well. Like when you don’t balk at changing the diapers, bathing our baby, feeding her, washing her after ‘poopoo,’ taking her out and staying up late at night to watch and play with her, and let me rest even when you’re tired yourself. I am thankful for your patience as well, both with Eya and me – for the many and constant kind, calming and comforting gestures when I’m in my not-so-easy-to-understand moods. These little things really get me through. They make my ordinary days worthwhile, and I really really thank you.

Raising a child while enjoying your marriage is not always easy. Finding the right time for each other is really hard work. I’m just thankful that we had the chance to enjoy each other’s company as sweethearts and best friends for about seven (7) years. I really think now that that was what prepared us for this next hard (but of course fulfilling) stage in life—having a baby. Those long years have taught us how to somehow always find a way to understand each other, and we still do so now especially during the inescapable trying moments.

So let’s enjoy this day and look forward to the coming years. You know, of course, that Eya and I both love you muchy muchy, always. There are still lots of things to say, but I’ll save that for later when you wake up. Cheers darling!!!

Oscar Fever

2007-02-14T05:39:00.000-08:00

I don't watch much TV these days. In fact, some days would go by without me turning on the tv. I especially hate watching the news. I know I should, for the sake of knowing current events. But heck, everything in the news seems to be depressing. And I don't consider showbiz talk as news, even when the media tirelessly offer it as such.

I was so bothered by that particular news about a ten-year-old girl being raped by four men and then murdered and then left in a grassy abandoned place with hastily put-on shorts. I was really so bothered that I kept thinking about the incident for the following days. I have a daughter, and it's just so scary when you think about all the dangers that she might face the moment your head is turned away from her even for the shortest time. Even now, that video about the girl's shorts and legs after rape and murder still haunts me.

But even when I don't watch tv, it seems that nobody can escape the orcars (nice transition, huh? hehehe) The moment I log onto the internet, that's there staring at you.

I watched three out of the five nominated films for Best Motion Picture of the Year.

Babel was very well-crafted. It smoothly intertwined four extremely different cultures. In fact, it so smoothly intertwined the four cultures that when you watch the film, you wouldn't focus on the difference but on the distressing similarities among them. The film expertly presented how ordinary days can instantly turn into shocking ones and how ordinary lives can turn upside down in a moment, and that no matter what you do, some events will always be totally out of your control.

The Departed was an exciting film. I was able to watch the original on dvd, but I enjoyed the remake more. It was more thrilling and suspenseful somehow. And I liked that they killed the protagonist-antagonist character in the end (giving the film some sense of "justice") which they did not do in the original.

Little Miss Sunshine was both serious and hilarious. It was dealing with some very grave issues like suicide, drugs, homosexuality, death, marital strife, and the list goes on. But they were presented with such day-to-day matter of factness that you couldn't help chuckling all through the film, while shaking your head from time-to-time and thinking about the themes at the same time

Hello Mr. Darcy!

2007-02-13T16:23:00.000-08:00

I’ve just recently watched ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ and I can’t get enough of Mr. Darcy’s eyes! Hehehe

He was played by Matthew Macfadyen, and well, upon seeing him in the film, I thought ‘where have you been all this time?’ (sigh, hehehe) It was because of him that I pushed myself to read the classic online, and I had to rest my eyes for a few days after.

In the book you’d truly hate Mr. Darcy, you’d just like him toward the last pages. In the movie, you’ll instantly fall in love with him even when he doesn’t smile for the most part of two hours on screen.

It was a nice film, with beautiful cinematography, and simpler than the book. But it was a courageous book. Jane Austen discusses in depth the double standards during the late 18th century. She made her character speak such language that may have shocked her conservative readers at that time in their frankness and courage at questioning morality standards and the treatment of females as objects of patriarchy. I learned that at that time, the book was first published and acknowledged as “written by a lady” without revealing the writer’s name. And long before it was made a classic, it was considered simply as an interesting romance novel.

The Magic Word

2007-02-13T16:22:00.000-08:00

My two-year-old daughter has learned to say “sorry,” whenever she has done something that seemed to have displeased somebody.

The word truly does something to you. I can’t exactly place it. Well for one it makes you stop and think if you’re truly worthy of receiving such pure goodness. Children are really a wonder. You expect so little of them and so they give you too much. It makes me calm. It gives me peace. It also pushes me to strive to become a better mother every single day, to be equal to her, who I think is way way up there.

Of Gardens and Unfortunate Events

2007-02-13T16:19:00.000-08:00

I have just read Alice Walker’s book of “womanist prose” (her term) ‘In Search of our Mother’s Gardens’, alternately with Lemony Snicket’s ‘A Series of Unfortunate Events.’ What a reading combination, you’d say ☺.

Well, they were both very good reading. Alice Walker’s writing style is simple, yet profound and with unexpected and very welcome twists. She has this way of letting you feel that you’ve already read what she has written in other writer’s works, and then she’ll completely take you by surprise and drop a line of two which will make you stop and think deeply for more than a few minutes. I specially liked her expositions on the problem of race and discrimination among blacks themselves. I never thought that terms such as “dark-skinned blacks” and “lighter-skinned blacks” exist among their circles. It was truly shocking to learn that “lighter-skinned blacks” often pick-on their “dark-skinned” brothers and sisters. Black men prefer “lighter-skinned” black women. Imagine. They were considered more superior, luckier and with more graces, when actually they were most likely products of the act of rape of a white man of a “negro” slave. Imagine again. The “blackest” women with the flat nose and big bones and who wore traditional African garbs were often laughed at, considered humiliating for the whole race for their appearance and refusal to take in American culture. When in fact, Alice Walker asserted, they are the truest essence of being black. They must be duly respected because they are representations of black history, their struggle and their unique nature and culture. I know I am sometimes guilty of wanting to look at more “lighter-skinned” blacks than the “dark-skinned” ones (think Denzel Washington, Will Smith, Halle Berry hehehe). But I never thought that the blacks themselves are the guiltiest of all of this penchant, which when involving them particularly, already manifests strong racism and discrimination of their own race.

As to the “unfortunate” books, I can’t wait to get hold of books 7,8 and 9. The plot is getting interesting. The kids have transformed from being truly unfortunate in 1-3 to being whiz and kick-ass kids in 4-6.

Christmas 2006

2007-01-21T04:39:00.000-08:00

We weren't able to concentrate much on Christmas. We were so worried about Eya's health that we weren't able to do our Christmas shopping, and until now we still "owe" so many relatives and friends gifts.

The weeks leading to Christmas, Eya experienced fever, colds, cough and constipation. She lost weight, appetite and energy and this was what really alarmed us. She was not her usual hyper self during these days and that was enough to keep Biboy and me down and sad as well.

Those days were spent going back and forth to her pediatrician and other specialists. What I won't ever forget was Eya undergoing a Barium Enema process to determine if there's a narrowing in the intestines and if an operation is needed. I really prayed hard that the results would show that there's no need for an operation, and I was very grateful when the doctor said that there was no narrowing seen in the x-ray films. I wish no other two-year-old has to undergo this process. The process was explained to us and it was relatively safe but it was a real torture to see Eya crying and writhing in discomfort (and not really in pain, thank you!) the whole time.

So we didn't really feel the real meaning of Christmas because Eya was not that well. But the days leading to new year were much better. When the medications and exams were over, Eya showed more appetite, and little by little, she got back to her usual hyper self. So we bought her toy gifts for the new year, and new year became more like Christmas because we saw how Eya enjoyed herself. I only really pray that her good health will continue all throughout the year and the years to come.

Early Christmas Gift and Other Special Things from Eya

2007-01-11T03:01:00.000-08:00

I received an early Christmas gift from Eya: At 2 years and about 2 months, she surprised me. She's now fully potty trained! Yipeee! What a wonderful gift.That would mean less work for me for the coming year.

She's also becoming more and more independent. Wanting to do and discover things all by herself, so I just let her. She wants to know the "ins and outs" of all things so I just leave her to turn all her toys upside down and open them and discover all sorts of gadgets within. And she can bite and chew almost everything now. I am no longer that scared to allow her to hold food like banana, bread, burger, fries, pasta, pancake, waffle, cupcake, rice bowls, pancit, cookies, etc. because I now know that she'll be able to handle them. And I'm just so thankful that she's eating more now, and eating more veggies.

Her memory's getting sharper too. She can sing full songs like ABC. She can sing from A-Z now and for me as her mother, that was really a "wow," (and I think all mothers felt this way at some point). She can also sing "Twinkle, twinkle," "Happy Birthday," and can sing along with some Barney and Sesame Street songs. She can also identify a lot of things now like animal sounds, colors, shapes and sizes and can also remember more names and people. She can converse with some people over the phone now too.

And I was so surprised when she was able to remember more complicated words on the chart like "sea anemone," "blue whale," squid," etc. And sometimes she makes us laugh when she would suddenly stand in front of Biboy and me and just rumble on as if she's declaiming or giving an impromptu speech (with the gestures and all) or something.

She's also getting more and more interested in drawing, writing strokes (strong and expressive ones too), coloring and reading books. It gives me a sense of fulfillment and peace when I see her sitting down and browsing through colorful books for longer periods of time. So I really make sure that her activity's well-rounded everyday: a little tv/dvd (educational children's shows), interactive play with toys (with my guidance of course), a little discovery of music on the keyboard and xylophone, a little interaction with playmates when the weather's okay outside and more books and activities on paper.

I'm really also happy that she's showing more interest in letters and numbers now, always asking about numbers, words and pictures that are new to her. I admit that sometimes she's so fast in asking that I could just barely catch up, and there were also times when I wouldn't know what to answer her for the simple reason that I don't know the answer to her simple questions with not-so-easy-to-find answers.

And I'm very very thankful that she's exhibiting higher levels of EQ. She knows and cooperates when I'm sad and displeased with something. She would give me a kiss and a hug at the times when I need them most, and I just love her special way of saying "i love you, thank you, welcome, please, come, wait lang." She also knows how to say sorry and when to behave and listen to "no." And she knows how to share things with other children and she's always ready to befriend anyone. She makes me happy whenever I hear her call a new friend "ate," "kuya" or just by their nickname in her own friendly way.

Oh well, I could just go on and on being amazed by the little things that I discover and learn with her everyday. And I'm thankful that she's showing good health and eminating so much energy (she just loves to jump and dance and be hyperactive in general; thanks Eya for being my dance partner when I need to unwind hehehe). All I ask really is for her good health to continue and for her mental, physical and emotional abilties to exceptionally develop. And of course for her to be always happy, secure and at peace.

Nice to be back!

2006-11-08T03:50:00.000-08:00

Well it's been weeks now since we've been back here in Manila. It's good to be able to catch up with the things to do back here.

Our trip to Naga was...hmmm, how should I put this? It was definitely not a vacation trip. Well first off, we went home to bury a beloved uncle. And although the family has accepted his death, still it was sad that he has finally left us. Also, I was at first stressed out by Eya's reaction to the people there. She was not used to having a lot of people in one place. Well, maybe the booming voices and the different language confused her. It took weeks for her to be able to adjust to my parents and siblings! I was really glad when she finally got used to all of them. At least they were able to bond before we left for Manila.

Two good things out of our trip to Naga: my family got to bond with Eya and Eya celebrated her 2nd birthday in Naga.

I was happy to be with family. We gave Eya a simple b-day party and she loved the balloons and the presence of counsins and playmates. I just wished she did not get constipated on that day, of all days!!!

And as I'm writing this, I can't believe that Christmas is again nearing and I've barely started gift hunting!

The Passing of an Anthem

2006-09-22T01:02:00.000-07:00

I learned last Wednesday night that my Uncle Clarge has passed away. He had been fighting Emphysema for several years now. The text message was a painful surprise. Although it shouldn't have been a surprise since he had been in and out of the ICU for months. But still, you learn, always, that when death comes in the family, no matter how much you prepare yourself, when it actually comes, you'll never be really totally prepared for it. Always, its dark, lonely and painful hands will touch you and grip you and stay with you...

For me, the loneliness came at about 3am the next day, when everybody else was asleep. It was during this time that the memories came, all the more painful because they were memories from joyous times. My family grew up with his family. We spent all the important occasions (holidays, birthdays, vacations) with his family.

He was a jolly good soul, always lively, and very very frank. He can be harsh sometimes in all his frankness, but sometimes, this is really how you build strong character in people. He was always in the "know." He knows everything that goes on--in the news, in other parts of the world, and other things that you wouldn't really know about no matter how much you watch television. I often wondered where he gets all his information. Well, maybe from all the books that he reads. I remembered that talking with him was always an intellectually stimulating experience. He'll never back down during any debate and his arguments would always have strong backing. I just know that if he had not been encumbered by his sickness, he would have gone on to greater achievements.

But he's free now. Free from all the gadgets and the medicines that he had to take when he was alive. Free from his confining sickness. I can actually imagine him running freely now, with a wide smile on his face. I can see him in my mind, swimming and playing Ping Pong, sports that he was really good at years ago.

We will mourn you Uncle Clarge. Everytime we visit your place at 156, we will always search, grope even, for the light and life that was uniquely you. We will press our ears to the wall and deeply wish for the slightest trace of your voice. Everytime we sit in your sala and watch from your favorite TV, we will hear your voice in our heads, telling us something worth learning about. It will surely be lonely without your jokes Uncle, and occasions will never be the same without the comments that only you can make. But deep, deep, deep down Uncle, we are also happy for you. You can laugh all you want now without the worry of triggering an attack. You can journey the great outdoors now without fearing viruses. Everytime we are lonely, we will picture you in our mind, running carefree in your fave rubber shoes.

Move on in peace Uncle, because the people you've left behind will also do the same, for your sake.

P.S.

2006-09-11T03:20:00.000-07:00

Am I writing to someone? Anyway, I feel like I'm writing to someone...

Well, I just forgot to write that Eya also knows how to say "thank you", " sorry", and "please" now. It just feels so nice whenever you hear your kid say such things hehehe. And she can count from 1 to 10 now. Oh well, sometimes she forgets 1 and starts at 2 and then she forgets 4 and jumps at 5, hehehe. Sometimes she starts at 5 all the way to 10 --- it's just so funny listening to her count this way!

Hmmm, she's nearing her 2nd birthday and we'd like to give her a simple party. I hope she'll be super happy on her "d" day.

At looong last...

2006-09-07T04:54:00.000-07:00

It's been a while!!! It's been months since I last wrote anything in here, whew! Well...excuses, excuses. First, I've been lazy. I just did not have that zest, that enthusiasm to write anything. Then, I was busy with Eya, I was always busy with Eya. Then, we sent home our 'pasaway' yaya, so it was just me taking care of Eya. Then, I got sick. That's about it for excuses. Well, now then that's covered.

I'm really so happy with Eya right now. She can now talk, imagine!!! She can now tell you what she wants, which she does, of course, and allll the time! She can now hum a decent tune and she's getting good at dancing everyday. She's very interested in books and with educational shows. I hope we can find that perfect playschool for her by November.

She's nearly two years old now and she can really do a lot of things. She can eat by herself now without spilling anything and she now knows phrases like, "tulog ko, eat, water, poopoo, weewee, gusto mo, buksan ko." And so she can now make "utos." hehehe! But when she gets so excited she still blabbers on and on. But I don't mind. I'm just so happy with the progress that she's making. And I'm so proud because she's showing some IQ and EQ. She knows how to share her toys with others and she knows how to be told to not do something.

There was also a time when I was truly touched by my daughter. We were alone in the house then, just the two of us. I suddenly became depressed. I cried a little, and I thought she would not notice. But when she saw the tears in my eyes, she got her "pranella" and started wiping at my eyes. I was so surprised! I was not expecting this from a baby less than two years old. That was when I realized that my baby's growing up and that I have no reason to be sad. I was just so touched and so proud that my baby is growing up to be a sensitive girl attuned to older people's feelings. She also cries when she sees people crying on TV. The experience was just so humbling.

Surprise!!!

2006-04-15T04:20:00.000-07:00

I just woke up one morning and noticed that Laneya can now eat on her own! One day she's a tiny baby and the next she can eat on her own! And she now knows how to use a straw. And and she likes carrot juice and prune juice, imagine. I think parents really do live for these kinds of surprises...

Feeling Down

2006-04-02T05:59:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling down today, I don't know. It's a good thing I can put the blame on any THING - like the food I ate, the 'sakto' that I just gulped down, whatever.

Maybe it's everything that's happening - the horrible shifting irritating weather and the equally distressing political turmoil that's bound to give millions of Filipinos perennial headache and heartaches.

Frankly, I don't watch the news anymore. It's numbing how the situation in the country gets more than worst everyday (we need a new superlative for worst to describe it). If it's not the everyday crimes, it's political issues, which is just as bad as the morbid crimes for me - the way they put on these shows and assume that every Filipino does not think.

PGMA is putting on all these subtle moves that promise us she'd be even more terrible than Marcos, and the administration assumes that the ordinary Filipino does not notice these subtleties. Well it's obvious that she's putting all her claws at work even as we sleep. She attacks, and then retreats for a time (preparing for the next attack). But I think everybody by now knows her game.

Oh well, I think that the situation here will get more depressing. PGMA will gladly make sure of that.

Jollibee, Kids' Patron Saint

2006-03-28T02:15:00.000-08:00

We brought Eya to UP this weekend, for a little family bonding. She really enjoyed being able to run and play on wide open grounds and to be able to relax under the shades of the trees. It was a different experience for her and she was all good mood and smiles. We'll definitely do this little picnic again.

Then we had to pass by SM Megamall because I had to quickly meet with my high school batchmates who are busy planning our batch's 10th year reunion.

Along the way, we passed by Jollibee...and it was truly funny and amazing how Eya and other kids were attracted to Jollibee - like magnet. And really, I think in their little minds, kids revere Jollibee. They touch him, pat him, hug him, hold his hands, sit on him, cuddle and Eya even kneeled in front of him! We were so surprised!! Whatever made Jollibee this appealing to children? Maybe its his flashy red and yellow color, smiling face and his protruding belly that maybe kids can so relate with hehehe. In kids' mind he may be friend and play thing and biggie guardian angel (with the bee's wings and all) all in one!

Well after this interesting scene with Jollibee, we brought Laneya to Dave's Fun House. It was fun to see and learn that Laneya now knows how to mingle well with other kids. She giggles and laughs with them and she allows them to play with her. She's not at all aloof with and isolated with other kids. And I hope that she'd continue to be this friendly and this sociable. It was exciting to watch Laneya have so much fun in the playground with other kids. Parents' simple joys!!!

Ramblings of a Mom

2006-03-28T01:26:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I wrote something in this blog. I've just been so busy - Laneya is getting to be quite a handful--two handfuls, actually. She can now run, jump, dance, sing and she likes slides!!! She's so giggly and she laughs a lot when she's sliding down the slide. Perhaps it's the sensation. And she likes to be independent now. She prefers to eat alone (plus plus all the kalat), drink alone (plus plus all the dripping clothes after) and if allowed, she'd take a bath alone! She does not like being held when in the mall. That's why I'm looking for a tag-along, but the stores are all out of stock. Kids must be getting more and more independent these early days. :-)

She can now say mamee, dadee and she can count up to four! Her voice is just pure music to our ears, even when she's reasoning out, meaning bubbling excitedly. She's also very friendly, she smiles, plays and talks to kids of all ages, even those older than her. But I think that at this point, she thinks that everybody, including us, is with her age group hehehe.

She likes kikay things also! She appreciates colorful shirts and scarfs and long dresses and she likes to look at herself in the mirror. She likes to put lotion on herself, albeit on the wrong parts of her body like the hair. She's becoming a little lady--and with a crush on Sam Milby--gooodnesss!!! She makes these funny noises when Sam's face come on TV--goodness, goodness!!! I remember that I started having crushes when I was in kindergarten. I guess I no longer hold the record.

Oh, I can just gush and gush about Eya (well, what else can you expect of a mother?). She appreciates books and stickers and she can now build blocks, not just break them down. She's starting to experiment with crayons, pens and pencils. But she prefers to write all over my face and body and the floor rather than on paper. I also think that her thinking powers had already been switched on. She can now choose the kind of socks and caps and shirts that she'd like to wear.She now knows what she wants and would do anything to get it (cry, throw tantrums, kick, etc.). She can still be distracted but most of the time she knows that she's being distracted, and so...

But she also knows how to be so malambing. There were times when she'd just hug you and kiss you over and over for no reason at all. And I think that these are a parent's most treasured and precious moments. She has also matured emotionally - well, a little - as what's meant for little kids. Whenever I'd scream in pain due to her biting, she'd immediately hug me and press her head on my chest, maybe her way of saying 'sorry'. In contrast to just giggling, which was what she used to do weeks before. And she now knows how to caress and pat others in the way that's being done to her. Her soothing acts are really calming. This is also the time to be very careful of our actions though, because she emulates everything we do. She laughs when we laugh. And she can feel everything around her. She's also subdued when we are subdued or serious and she's staring to ask about things, in her own language though.

She's has also become very curious. And she likes gadgets!!! She's interested in batteries, chargers, electric fans, extension cords, camerals, handyphones, the list goes on. And if allowed, she'd destroy everything just to have the chance to try to put them back all together (I'd allow her, but they're just dangerous for kids...and expensive!!! hehehe).

Her sleeping habits bother me though. For the past weeks, she was always up at night, playing. I surely hope for her sleeping time to return to normal hours soon. It's taking a toll on me. I now can't sleep at night either and it's hard to sleep during the day. There are times when I feel like a zombie.

Well, enough for now. I'm sure I'd have a lot more to write about Eya in my other entries.

Simple Wedding for Simple People

2006-02-21T01:17:00.000-08:00

Blu and I finally got married last Feb. 16 at 10:30 am. My Aunt said that being married on a Thursday and on a "16th" at "10:30 am" all spell luck. I hope she's right, though we chose the date and time without really thinking about all these. Blu and I - we've been together since 1997 and we really did work hard to make our relationship work, and continue to work. So I think "luck" is just a bonus. In the end, it will still be up to us. It will always be up to us two.

Having said that...I'm so happy that we finally did it, took that simple step. We had been wanting to get married for some time now but there were always some hindrances -- on top of the list was his tight working schedule. Well, I'm glad we've gone passed that because in this busy world, that's one thing that will always be there - crazy working schedule.

It was just a simple civil wedding. It didn't take long. And the photographer was funny. He told the two of us to pose, and we did with all our smiles and with Blu doing his own wacky expressions and poses. After a few minutes he told us that his camera was locked. PFFFT!!! And then he told us to pose again, only this time - his film needed to be changed. GRRRR!!!

It was simple, no frills and it was what we wanted. No tensions, no pressure to entertain many people and no big budget needed (that's the best part! hahaha). After the ceremony, the happiness that we felt was the calming kind - the kind that slowly sinks in and seeps through, the kind that lingers, and the kind that makes you smile softly at each other for a long long time.

We spent the rest of the day together doing our "comfort" stuffs. We had dinner, watched a movie (to be able to cuddle *wink*) and then we went to the fair at UP to relive the old days when we were just starting to date. Strange, but that was how it really felt like...like we were just starting to date. Maybe that's what marriage creates...that sense of peace that will make you eager to start over.

Balloons for Eya's 2nd Christmas

2006-01-13T03:34:00.000-08:00

It was Eya's second Christmas, and for that reason alone, I am a very happy mom (hehehe). She really likes balloons so we bought her quite a number and it was truly exciting to watch how wide-eyed and excited she became when she saw all those balloons being inflated right in front of her. It's true what all mothers say - when you're child's healthy and happy, you're happy (well this is just sinking in, but it's a nice 'sinking' feeling hehehe). It was a fun Christmas. Eya made it a fun Christmas.

We also gave her a mini inflatable house - her current tambayan. I could really watch her all day play haaaay (contented sigh hehehe). She's just so fun to watch!!! She's so giggly and playful! (even at 5am in the morning!) And she's got new tricks. She can climb a chair now, alone - wow! Babies really grow up too fast! And she can say "jabee" now whenever Jollibee's face appears on TV hahaha. She can walk really fast now, with lesser falls - and very soon she'll be able to run (aw something to really watch out for).

Hmmm whenever I'm in the supermarker or department store, all I can think about are Eya's stuff - clothes, milk, wipes, etc. It's a good thing I'm not rich because I'll just spend all the money on cute little dresses and blouses and pants hehehe.

to continue...

2005-12-20T22:47:00.000-08:00

I left my last entry hanging. As I was saying, "The Girl Next Door" is an interesting movie. Yes, it is a teenie weenie film, but it is also very relevant to the present times. It's also a funny film, so if you have some free time and just want to relax, watch it.

Anyway, finally, I was able to watch King Kong. Whew, it left me breathless, literally and figuratively. It was over before I realized that three hours had passed. Trust me, this movie is not for the faint-hearted. The action will not stop just to let you breathe more easily.

Once again, Peter Jackson has proven that 'small measure' is not in his vocabulary. Everything in the movie was up on the high scale. The story and effects were carefully crafted. The movie's characters came on strong.

We all know about King Kong and Skull Island. The story's been told. What Peter Jackson did differently was to focus more on the interaction between man and animal - and all the emotions involved in both party. It was an enlightening journey into the intricacies of how men and animal think and feel when brought upon each other to struggle and survive.

As to the effects, there's no need to expound. With Peter Jackson as director, you know what to expect. He once again showcased his "organic" brand. He will go to such lenghts, employing highly technological effects just to let a scene appear oh so natural.

About 'The Girl Next Door'

2005-12-14T23:30:00.000-08:00

Came upon the teen flick "The Girl Next Door" last night at Star Movies. I was not particularly interested in it, but nothing else worth watching was on the TV. So I watched it without really taking it seriously. It was entertaining at first - just entertaining. But halfway into the movie - it unexpectedly got interesting.

..........................

2005-12-14T02:50:00.000-08:00

I'm almost done with the story, but not quite just yet. I hope I dream about it tonight so that it will finally gel together in my head. Maybe tomorrow...

Anyway, aside from reading and writing and listening to music and watching movies - I like to do lists. I list down everything lately. Maybe it's a little therapy for myself hehehe. I list expenses, groceries, tasks, recipes, anything hehehe - to put my mind into order perhaps :).

I like going to the grocery and the market and cooking (yipee, finally). I don't know, but these tasks are calming for me somehow.

Hmmm, what else? Oh yes, I can't wait for Narnia. I've read the books, and really, the imagination of C.S. Lewis is out of this world, literally and figuratively :). No wonder he and Tolkien are best buddies.

And also King Kong. I've read some reviews, and taking their word (or wordssss) for it, I would expect it to be spectacular on the wide screen. I've watched the original, and hmmmm, it would be interesting to do some comparisons. Can't wait to see the spectacular special effects.

A Slow Wednesday

2005-12-13T21:38:00.000-08:00

Hmmm I'm supposed to be finishing a story right now, but I don't know - I'm distracted somehow.

And to distract myself further, I surf surf surf and surf.

I like visiting www.livescience.com. I am just amazed by the wealth of information that they have on stock. They don't seem to run out of any. Well, I don't believe everything that I read on this site, I still keep an open mind - but still the wealth of information is impressive. It's like learning all about science in the simplest way. And thanks to this site, I now understand much much more what evolution (and heredity) is all about. And to think that I've been hearing about this topic since high school.

So if you're feeling distracted, might as well be distracted in a producted way :). You can also surf this site. It's really interesting and a mind twister. :)

The Domino Effect

2005-12-12T21:33:00.000-08:00

I'm not really referring to anything else - just the movie. It was a truly fun film, but the joke may be on you - so beware!!! It will make you laugh hard, but even think harder. Some parts of it made me feel like I'm being duped, but it was also the most honest film that I've watched lately - no frills.

It just made me think - when you toss a coin (heads? or tails?), it's not really the money that you're tossing out of your hand, but a chance. You are tossing it in the hopes that you might catch it back.

Thanks for Sunday!

2005-12-12T19:59:00.000-08:00

Thanks to all that's to be thanked...I finally succeeded in hooking up with my best high school buddies - Joyce and Lorena. I do believe our little reunion did wonders for my health. I was really starting to get frustrated with this asthma attack that I was having for days now. And I'm so glad that the stories and laughter brought about by that mini reunion pushed me on the fast track to wellness. Nothing really beats the kind of therapy that old and true friends can give.

Movied

2005-12-07T01:02:00.000-08:00

Anyway, enough about the clicking click click.

I watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose last week. It was an interesting film, and bothering too. It made me think about everything all at once - all the sides in the story. It's a movie that will make Catholics think twice, Agnostics think twice, and Everyone else in between and on the sides think twice.

No, I didn't watch the other "exorcism" films, and after watching this one, I still don't have the inkling to.

It was interesting how the film presented both sides as being right, but somehow not quite that right. Well, that's just like everything else in the world today. Something is right, but somehow not quite that right - depending on who you are, where you are, the times. That's what bothers me, actually.

Hurting and Bleeding in my Mind

2005-12-07T00:54:00.000-08:00

I hate this feeling of helplessness, of weakness when you're sick. It's irritating and its exhausting. Just thinking about it gets me drained. And besides, I am not allowed to get sick - I'm a mother!

I still feel that clicking...click, click, click. It's still in my head and my throat - and now it's in my back too.

The Day I Start Blogging :)

2005-12-06T22:18:00.000-08:00

I'll mark this day...December 7th of 2005 - the day I started blogging (hehehe).

I had a blog account but I forgot everything about it - the username, the password...so. I don't really know what made me start this blog account. Maybe it's the pain in my head and throat. I was sick this weekend and I have this clicking pain in my head and throat. Perhaps I just needed some sort of diversion.

Today is my mother's birthday. I have to call her again tonight. We got cut on the phone yesterday.

Well I guess this is all for my first excuse of an entry. It's clicking again...click, click, click. I'll be back later. Hope the internet's faster then...